I was up early this morning unable to sleep because my legs and hips ached. After I organized my pills for the week, I got online.
About four years ago, I met Pixie Campbell at a Writer's Spa retreat in Taos, New Mexico that was led by Jennifer Louden and Suzanne Falter Barnes. I've followed Pixie's blog since. This morning I was clicking on links to Pixie's blogroll and came across Jen Lemen's blog. There was an entry where Jen writes about meeting and interviewing Cokie Roberts. At the end of the entry was this paragraph:
"I wish this were a beautifully written post that really captured all the power and wisdom of these tiny moments, but all I can say is that I’m really deeply grateful for today. I hope I can be the kind of older woman someday who inspires somebody younger to be brave and to take incredible chances for love and wholeness and peace (because I did it myself), all the while being willing to endure the pull with dignity and grace. That’s the most any woman can hope for, don’t you think?"
While Jen's pull is family and career, I couldn't help but apply her words to my own pull between fibromyalgia and life. I worry that my illness is winning the tug of war. It's easy to go inward to the place that's all about being sick because, let's face it, some days it is just so darn hard to live with the chronic pain and fatigue of fibromyalgia. But I want more.
Like Jen, I want to be the kind of older woman who inspires others. I'm far to close to older woman status to waste time not living fully.
Thanks to the women who inspired this post:
Jen Lemen - http:// jenlemen.com/blog
Pixie Campbell - http:// pixiecampbell.typepad.com/pink_coyote
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By the way, one day I'm going to figure out how to post my own blogroll. Promise.
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